This past week I took on my own made up version of a self-love challenge. First off I would like to pat myself on the back for making some baby steps that I will get into later, but I would be lying if I said that after one week I was cured of all of my negative emotions and had an enormous amount of energy.
Before writing this out, I read an article on The EveryGirl where the writer interviewed one of my favorite authors, Elizabeth Gilbert (if you haven’t read her book Big Magic it’s a must). During the interview, Gilbert was asked,
“How do you strike a balance between staying authentic to your followers but also maintaining privacy and keeping some things close?”
To this, Gilbert replied:
“I rally against the word balance. You can’t open a women’s magazine without balance this or balance that, and I’m like, I don’t know anyone who has found balance. All of us are wobbly as fuck. But that’s the interesting part. It would be terribly boring to find balance all the time; you would have to be so heavily drugged. I don’t even know what that would look like. I’ve given up on finding that. Instead, I think, OK, what brings joy and the least amount of suffering? What would be the most interesting path for me to take here? Let’s go.”
After reading this simple yet profound answer, I realized that I was missing the point of taking on this challenge for myself. Will I ever really find ‘balance’? And if I did, do I even know what that is supposed to look like? All I know is that I want to feel happy, I want to stop drowning in the negativity that my job is putting me in, I want to achieve my goals with a feeling of confidence that I can get it done and be successful.
So, maybe like Gilbert says, I need to stay ‘wobbly as fuck’ and achieve everything that way.
Because honestly in the last week, I still felt stressed out. I still had moments of doubt. I still had days where I felt like sleeping and not conquering a single thing. And I think I’ve realized (maybe even just today) that I’ll probably have those days here and there. But, the goal is to have a lot less of them.
So, some positive steps I was able to take this week to get my self-love on.
- I left work on time. This was a big one, and one that I did two out of the five days. It felt great to say I‘ve done what I need to do, and now it’s my time.
- I gave myself an hour to just lounge and binge watch Grey’s Anatomy before bed. Something I previously felt kind of guilty about doing on weekdays.
- I met one of my writers (in person finally) who was here from Barcelona, and it was so fun getting to talk with her (shout out to you Bianca for being amazing!)
- I went home for the weekend and spent time with my family and dog (which was so relaxing).
- I went for a run yesterday morning, something I enjoy but feel I never have energy for anymore.
See? Baby steps.
My goals as I jump into this week is to incorporate way more writing into my week. It’s hard, and I feel like some inspiration has been lost these last few months. But, even taking this weekend to rejuvenate, I feel it coming back.
Letting go of the idea that I need to have this perfect balance in my everyday life is also something that I want to work on. Admittedly I can be a bit of a perfectionist, but I’m learning that sometimes life is the most beautiful when it’s just a bit messy.
I hope this gives YOU some inspiration and insight as you take on this new week!