As a follower of Nitika Chopra, beauty & lifestyle expert and inspiring talk show host, it was an easy decision to choose her to interview for my next installation of ‘Girl Boss 101’. However, what I didn’t know was the series of take-aways that I myself would walk away with from not only this interview with but her ‘Deep Dive Into Self-Love’ event.
Since I have started speaking with women for Girl Boss, I have realized that in one way or another they help me, open my eyes, or say something I really needed to hear in that moment. Self-love is something that I have personally struggled with in my own life, as I’m sure many of you have as well. So, when talking to Nitika both through our interview and being in the atmosphere of her event, I knew that I had come to the right person.
It is actually difficult for me to form the words needed to describe the sense of ‘Finally hundreds of other women out there GET ME’ after leaving her event. It’s even more difficult to describe how inspired I felt when I heard Nitika speak about what self-love means to her during our interview. Whether you feel lost with your business, career in general, or self (mind, body, and soul) I sincerely recommend reading what Nitika has to say.
Through this series of questions you will get a sense of how Nikita started her career as an entrepreneur, what excites her most about her career, and much much more. It’s my hope that through this interview you will feel just as inspired as I do to not only take control of your career, but maintain a balance of self-love and care throughout it all.
CW: What was your original plan growing up for your career (if you had one), and has your passion for self-care and self-love coaching always been there?
NC: I was in real estate, and was working that for five years before I started trying to launch my own career. Even in the first business I had as an entrepreneur (Bella Life), it’s been a constant evolution to shave off the things that I don’t need, and practice the things that I love. It [self-care and self-love] was kind of always there for me. I wanted to know the deeper meaning to things, and the deeper answer to things. I wouldn’t say I was ‘into’ self-care and self-love, I didn’t categorize it, it was just a part of me.
CW: How did your TV hosting and coaching all start?
NC: I was trained to be a life coach 12 years ago, so I’ve had that training for a long time. And then I had always loved performance, singing and acting and other performance based things. But I didn’t like the emptiness of the entertainment business, so when I started Bella Life [now Nikita Chopra] it was with the goal of becoming a talk show host that would allow me to merge the performance and coaching.
CW: Have you always had the support of friends and family when you decided to launch your career as an entrepreneur?
NC: My family has always been supportive in terms of wanting the best for me and loving me, but when I started to be an entrepreneur I definitely scared them. My parents are immigrants, they took a big risk, and being an entrepreneur is a big risk. We had a lot of conversations of ‘what am I doing?’, and it wasn’t until I got my talk show, and they saw ‘oh she can get hired for this!’ that I felt like they could get on board. When starting my business, my friend group totally changed. I distanced myself from a lot of people who couldn’t get behind the idea and support me.
CW: What do you think gave you the courage to become an entrepreneur?
NC: I think for me I had always felt like I had a greater purpose in my life. And I just didn’t know what the hell that was. It didn’t really fit the bill that I had seen with other people or anything like that. It was really up to me to create the following of the purpose and my dreams. I didn’t come from a family that was going to give me a connection or fund my dreams. I was the only one who was going to make it happen. I didn’t know anybody who was able to help me with that.
I have a lot of strength in me, I’ve dealt with a lot of challenges in my life. I choose to be more committed to my happiness. Even when things seem tough or uncomfortable, I choose happiness. Whatever that looks like. It’s definitely a roller coaster, but it’s a choice. Following my dreams, is not easy all the time. But it’s a choice I make every day. So to me courage didn’t come to mind, it was really a choice.
CW: What has been the most exciting and thrilling part about coaching women on self-love?
NC: I love the women in my love-entourage, that’s who I coach the most. I would say those moments where they realize they’ve been doing something one way for so long but that they could be doing it a different way. Their in my home in NYC, and you can see it on their faces having these ‘aha’ moments, and I’m watching them sitting in my living room like oh my god this is so incredible.
I feel like it’s the easiest program I’ve ever lead, because I’m supporting and loving them. It’s really a safe space to uncover and discover, and I’m just so honored to be on this journey with them. It’s such a privilege.
CW: Why do you think so many women lack self-love, positivity, etc. and do you have a recipe for obtaining it no matter what your circumstances are?
NC: I think so many women lack self-love because a lot of times when you’re growing up we’re told a lot of messages that are against the truth of our soul.
Our soul is unbelievably breathtakingly beautiful, but in the world we are often told the opposite. So there is a lot of inner conflict. That is definitely what happens to me, for sure. That inner conflict is like plaque on your teeth, and if you don’t clean it, it builds up. That’s just the nature of those thoughts and conversations.
I think the biggest thing people get tripped up about when thinking about self-love is that they need to go from pain (negative thoughts) to loving ourselves immensely. I think people are forgetting a very important step in the middle, compassion. I think that is key to moving away from the negativity in your life and mind. Allowing yourself to say, I’m in pain right now, I don’t love these parts of myself, I’m embarrassed, etc. You hear people talk about inner child work, thinking of the young version of yourself that first got hurt by something, for me it’s the 10 year old girl who is hurt that I think about. It’s important to have a practice where you love her, and you love that part of yourself, that’s what I’m most interested in helping people with.
It’s not about “I’m happy all the time, and I’m never upset” that’s bullshit actually. It’s about having compassion about where you’re at. Nothing happens to you if you feel it (you’re not going to die because you’re sad), but if we keep shoving it down and bypassing it, it’s just going to keep being there waiting for us.
CW: In your mind, how does self-love/self-care translate into other areas of our lives?
NC: It translates into every single thing that you do. For one, we can’t expect others to take care of us. There are times that people will take care of us if we’re lucky, but we can’t expect it. Self-love and self-care, if you’re anchored in it and have a practice, then you end up needing less from others, and don’t expect them to owe you something. And you’re more able to be present and be of service. That’s why I think self-love and self-care are the foundations of everything.
CW: What is the most challenging part of coaching women on self-love and self-care?
NC: The thing I have the hardest time with is when people are not coachable. Because I want so much for everyone (and for myself) that if I meet you, I can literally see the possibilities within you, the possibilities of what you’re capable of, and how bright your inner light is. If I am with someone who is so dead set in not seeing that in themselves, not willing to be open to the fact that what I am saying might be true, I have compassion for those people, but I usually just have to let that go, that’s challenging. There are some people who are more committed to their suffering than their happiness.
CW: Where do you think that your positivity comes from, and how do you maintain it during tough days, weeks, months?
NC: My positivity was honestly just cultivated. I wasn’t a positive person until I was about 20 years old. For the first 20 years of my life, I wasn’t happy.
Then I realized there was a choice, and that I could choose happiness, not that it was easy, but that I could choose it. Now when I’m in a really shitty place, sometimes I let myself be upset for a little while (going back to the inner child, take care of her) other times I’m gonna call that friend that makes me laugh, so let’s just call her and have a good mid day chat cause I’m not feeling it in life. The other thing I do is listen to a lot of Abraham Hicks (law of manifestation ) and allow myself be in that and listen to it over and over again.
CW: What is the most exciting part of your career for you?
NC: I think there is so many things. Because each part that I get to explore, is exciting to me for different reasons. Part of it is the love entourage, because that’s deeper than anything I’ve done. I also really love putting on live events, I’ve spent a lot of time learning how to put on a live event (7 years), and every time I finish an event I’m so proud and honored by what I was able to create and seeing how people felt when they left. Even my social media, it has it’s own rhythm and flavor. Anything that has to do with my work, I feel so privileged and honored to do it. I feel super pumped whenever I get to do any of these things. I never do anything that isn’t 100% aligned with me.
CW: Do you ever feel hesitant to put it all out there on social media?
NC: I do feel hesitant, I do have those questions. I think it’s smart to have those questions. If you always have no filter then you’re not being of service to the people you’re trying to reach. I am always thoughtful about the things I put out there. I try to pause every time I post something and think: Is this me, or is this going to move things forward? Is it something that I can actually post and have it make a difference?
CW: Do you have a certain mantra or quote that is your go to for representing how you live your life?
NC: “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”
I think about that a lot, whenever I post or write something. Is this the love I want to have in the world?
Taking a risk can be scary, especially when it comes to our careers. But then you see thriving women like Nitika who are inspiring others (like myself) because she took that risk.
I highly recommend attending the next event Nitika hosts if you’re in NYC, or signing up for her coaching program. It was an eye-opening and exciting experience that I think all women can benefit from!