4 Positive Changes To Make In Order To Move To A ‘Self-Loving’ You

woman, girl, car

For most of us, it is in our nature to crave others attention, love, and approval. However, the most important thing that we seem to forget is how to love ourselves.

It may sound selfish, or even a bit weird- but it is my belief that it is essential in getting us further in this crazy thing we call life.

It’s key to learn how to take a step back, and reevaluate your choices.

Are you making the best possible decisions for yourself? Are you happy? Do you feel confident with yourself?

If the answer is No, No, and No then it is time to make some positive changes in your life.

1. Leave it on paper.

Creating a visual list of what you love most about yourself can be helpful in allowing yourself to move to a self-loving place.

What are you really good at? What do you bring to the table that others may not? Be honest with yourself. You’re not being cocky, you’re being confident and realizing your talent and abilities.

2. Start ridding yourself of situations or people that do not make you happy.

In order to love ourselves and be happy with ourselves, it is important that we associate ourselves with situations and people that can only bring us up.

If you have a friend that is a constant wave of negativity every time you see him or her, this is not going to benefit your journey to a better you. Find the people and places that are filled with positive energy, and you’ll find yourself feeling more and more confident with YOU.

3. Don’t just write it, embrace it.

Really embrace the talents that you have. The more you do something that you not only are good at but love, the deeper you will fall in love with yourself.

You’ll realize the potential you hold, and the endless opportunities that are available to you.

4. Positive chats with yourself.

This may sound weird, but we could all use a pep talk from time to time.

Here, I’m asking you to do some positive self talk. If you’re in the midst of a really bad day, talk yourself out of it. If you’ve received a negative e-mail from a coworker, talk yourself out of the self-hate.

Doubting every piece of yourself over a bad day is destructive, learn to turn it around!

The quickest way to happiness is learning to really and truly be happy with ourselves. Adopting these key changes into your life will lead you to be that self-loving, positive, enthusiastic person you know you’re capable of being. (and don’t we all want that?).

Handling Rejection Like The Badass You Are

Rejection: The dismissing or refusing of a proposal or idea, etc.

We’ve all experienced it. Whether you’ve gotten rejected by that guy you’ve been staring at in class all semester, by the school of your dreams, or from that job where you thought you nailed the interview-it’s bound to happen again and again throughout our lives.

But what I believe matters most in the face of rejections is how we choose to handle it. Of course it’s normal to get angry, cry, etc.-but do you let it affect everything you do from there on out? Do you let this rejection of something you thought was so important determine the rest of your life? Do you give up simply because you got rejected? If you’ve answered ‘Yes’ to one or more of these questions-keep reading, we have some work to do.

Last year, I applied to get my masters degree in London. It was the only thing I wanted. I wanted to be in England, I wanted to pursue my degree further, and I had my entire year planned out based on getting into this program. Then low and behold, I got turned down. I cried, a lot. This was all I wanted. This was where I was supposed to be. How could I get rejected? I fail at everything. I’m never good enough (These were the things that I kept telling myself and everyone who tried to comfort me over the rejection).

Eventually, I pulled myself out of my long lasting pity party, and made a new plan. Was the rejection hurtful? Of course. I wanted to be in London more than anything, and more I felt a serious pull to be there for some reason. However, now almost a year and a half later I am so grateful for that rejection letter. Weird, I know. But had I gone I would have gotten my masters in a field I am no longer currently pursuing (which has nothing to do with not getting into the program mind you), I moved myself to NYC, I got to meet my awesome boyfriend, and have had so many amazing experiences and opportunities since. (And I’m going on a trip to London in a few months, so there rejection letter!)

My point? That sometimes that phrase, “Everything happens for a reason” is actually really accurate. Have I been rejected from things since then? Most definitely. But now, I have learned to handle it a bit better. Of course I may still shed a tear or two (I’m a cryer I can’t help it), but I don’t let it stop me anymore. I don’t say, “I should give up” just because of that one failure. And neither should you. Because if that guy doesn’t want to go out with you, there’s someone better waiting for you. If you didn’t get hired by that job you wanted so badly, just wait and keep working-there will be a better one around the corner.

Don’t let rejection get the best of you. Take your day to have a pity party, and then stand up like the badass you know you are and move on to a new solution.

Never stop working towards your goal, never stop reaching for your dreams. Everyone is going to fail at something. But it is all about walking out of it with grace, strength, and a good attitude.

Rejection wants to bring you down, don’t let it-let it inspire you to be the best you can be.

 

As seen on MOGUL

Shout Out To My Squad: 3 Reasons You Keep Me Grounded

 

Many people I know were lucky enough to have an older or younger sister to bond with, grow up with, fight with, learn from, and love. However, I was given a life filled with two older brothers whom I love, but just don’t get me the way a sister may. Luckily, I didn’t have to go through my entire twenty-three years on this earth without a sister (or three). For ten years now I have been blessed with my soul sisters. No, they’re not biological sisters, but to me-they are most definitely family.

Who can say they’ve had the same best friends for ten years of their life? Do you know how many different life events have happened in that time? Between high school drama, moving to college, boyfriends, new friends, graduating, losses, traveling, moving to different cities, landing big-girl jobs- we’ve been through it all.

In that time, I’ve grown into a much different person than I was in high school when I first met my girls. We’re all so different than we were back in that awkward life stage. But, we grew into these amazing women together, and that’s what I think is so beautiful about our friendship. Despite rough patches in our own lives, we’ve picked each other up. Despite being countries apart, we supported each other. Despite now all living in different cities, we still know how to get together and have a rage of a time.

Three girls who know how to keep my life full of love, and this is why I’ll never let them go.

I can always count on them.

People always say that, but I can literally count on them in a moments notice. Our group text blows up all day, and never ceases to leave me smiling if I’m having a shitty day. I can call them individually with different problems, and they always know the right things to say. My dietitian friend? She gets all my health questions (but she loves it). If I need someone to calm my ass down, my calm, cool, and collected girl is there for me. If I need advice in finances or career, my hard-working (not that they all aren’t!) savvy lady is by my side.

 

They push me to be better.

Nothing stops these ladies from getting where they want to go, and they inspire me each day to keep chasing my dreams. That is what friendship is to me. They never weigh me down, or disregard my goals. Each of my sisters is hard-working AF, they never ever give up, and NEVER let me give up on myself. I’m grateful everyday that I have friends as motivated as they are, because without them I may have given up on a lot of adventures!

 

We’re all so different, dysfunctional, and insane-but we make it work.

Between our personalities, crazy schedules, absolute weirdness, and all the other things that come along with us- we always have the best times together. We make it work, we balance each other out, and in the end, I am literally in pain from laughing so hard when I am with them. We all have our different traits that we bring to the group, to form this amazing bond. We know how to party, we know how to cheer each other up, we know how to celebrate our accomplishments-we just get each other, and that to me is amazing.

 

We’ve traveled out of the country for one another, across the country for one another, city to city for one another, and have been one some insane adventures together. Ten years of friendship, ten years of laughs, tears, celebrations, and an unbreakable bond.

So here’s to you, to my soul sisters who forever keep my life full of sparkle, sunshine, laughter, and unconditional love.

3 Non-Traditional Valentine's Day Dates to Do With Your SO

If you’re anything like me, being handed a stuffed teddy bear, heart-shaped necklace, and heart-shaped box of chocolates on Valentine’s Day is not your thing. That teddy bear will inevitably become my dogs toy, that necklace will never be worn, and those chocolates thrown out. I’m not a cynical brat, but like to be more realistic when it come to the holiday of love.

In my opinion, Valentine’s Day was way cooler when we were kids, and that’s how I want to remember it (except with a little booze mixed in this time). I want those cool little V-day Spiderman themed cards we used to get in class, and to celebrate with a party full of cupcakes and cookies-with zero expectations on the side.

Valentine’s Day is supposed to be fun, regardless of if you have someone special to share it with. So, if you and your significant other are in the same boat as me, here are three dates for a not so traditional Valentine’s Day night.

1. Netflix, Burgers, and Cheap Wine

Ever heard of a better combination? Me either. Why bother going out to a fancy restaurant, where the wait will be hours long, and the food mediocre at best when you could sit on your couch with a loaded bacon burger and $8 dollar bottles of wine? Yes, bottles of wine-not $8 glasses. You can re-watch endless episodes of The Office (and swoon over Jim & Pam’s relationship), get drunk, and get some bomb-ass food with the one you love. It’s basically the adult version of that Valentine’s Day party you had in elementary school.

2. Wine, Beer, or Liquor Tasting

If you have this option around you, it’s the perfect date night out. You can learn some new info about your favorite wines or rums, fall in love with a new brand of alcohol, and share in the tasting fun with your SO. Follow this with a not-so-classy dive bar where you’ll again find some greasy delicious food to pair with that tasting you just did, and some more cheap drinks. You get the best of both worlds in this date with a little class from your tasting, and a little low-key with your dive bar. You can’t go wrong.

3. Chefing it up in the kitchen together.

So, if you’re trying not to spend the money on Seamless orders or a night out-find a cool recipe you’ll both like, grab some ingredients at the store, and get cooking together in the comfort of your own home! Cooking together can be a really fun night, even if the end result isn’t what you hoped for (in that case you may have to find a coupon code and hit up Seamless). You can pair this date with those $8 dollar bottles of wine (because what’s better than that?), try something completely different, and again enjoy the no-expectations casual night ahead.

Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be all about roses, stuffed bears, chocolate, and sappy hallmark cards. It’s important to remember that you’re lucky to have this person in your life every day, and just so happen to get a holiday to celebrate it. The day shouldn’t be full of expectations like, ‘Is he going to say ‘I love you’ tonight?’, or ‘Will she love this diamond necklace?’. Let those go, enjoy each other’s company, binge watch The Office on Netflix, drink cheap wine, and remember why you’re with this person.

If you’re single on this day, the dates listed above are some awesome things to do solo, or with your best girl or guy friends. That’s the beauty of the day, you can celebrate it in any way you want-you can celebrate how awesome the guy you’re hooking up with is, how kickass your friends are, or how much you love your significant other. However, I think it’s more fun to do so with Spiderman themed Valentine’s day cards, burgers, and alcohol.

As Seen On MOGUL: https://onmogul.com/stories/3-non-traditional-valentine-s-day-dates-to-do-with-your-so