Every one of us at one time or another has hoped and prayed that we would find ‘the one’, except he or she never seemed to come. Were we not looking in the right places? Was there something wrong with us? These questions may have crossed your mind at one time or another, or maybe they have been today. However, a better question to be asking yourself is if you are in a good place with yourself. Are you happy with every aspect of your life? Are you secure in your goals, wants, and needs? Are you ready to share that with another person? If the answer to these questions is a big ‘hell to the no’, then maybe it is time to make a commitment to yourself rather than a significant other. Falling in love with yourself is more important than falling in love with another person- here’s why:
Because you love yourself enough, you will not need a constant confidence booster from your significant other.
When you have insight into how intelligent, beautiful, funny, or strong you are, you’re not going to need the confidence booster from your partner. If they tell you how great you are it is a welcome compliment, rather than a needed one.
Your past will not intervene in your current relationship.
Any negative past relationships, experiences, or self-doubt you have had will rarely if ever come into play in your new relationship. If you have learned from those experiences, then you are in a positive place to form new and exciting relationships. However, if you do not learn to fall in love with yourself and still fear past mistakes or situations- don’t expect to find ‘the one’ tomorrow.
You will attract a better partner.
Because you carry the confidence and happiness of someone who loves themselves, you are going to attract someone with very similar qualities. This person won’t drag you down, but rather lift you up even higher. The negative energy you once walked around with will leave room for the right person to notice the happier and brighter you.
Your relationship will not feel like work.
You’ve figured yourself out by now. You know what you want and don’t want in a partner. You’re no longer going to settle for someone whom you need to ‘fix’, or who brings you down. Now, you’re ready for someone who just gets you and exhibits the true definition of the word ‘partner’. Aka- you aren’t paying for everything, you aren’t cleaning everything, you aren’t putting forth all of your emotion to gain nothing in return. This new partner will step up to the plate, causing your relationship to be the fun dynamic it should be and not a second 9-5 job.
Because you’ve already fallen in love with yourself- falling in love with your partner will seem much more enjoyable.
You’ve done the work. You have learned to love yourself-probably one of the hardest things to do if you’re not Kanye West. However, now that you have tossed all that self-hate out of the window, you can really and truly enjoy having a relationship with your significant other. Sure, you’ll have moments where you doubt yourself. But because you’ve really worked on the hard stuff and found a supportive partner, they will be there to kick that doubt away.
Without learning to truly love yourself, you will continue to fall for the same types of guys or girls that never work out for you. You will drag your insecurities, disappointments, failures, and past battles into your new relationships-causing them to ultimately fail. Do yourself a favor, and learn to appreciate what a great person YOU are before you jump into your next relationship. Fall in love with yourself, and the rest will fall into place. So, go turn up the volume on Hailee Steinfeld’s “Love Myself” song (my new fav), and get to work.