One of the hardest things to admit is when we’re not happy. Whether it’s with ourselves, family members, our job, our significant other, friends-it doesn’t matter. Saying the words ‘I’m not happy” out loud is terrifying. But it’s even harder to get out of this state where we think everything is miserable, and we feel like nothing will get better. Despite some ups and downs, I’ve learned some tips and tricks to not only stop faking my happiness, but also how to feel and maintain the real thing (but I’m not perfect, I still struggle to put the following into practice everyday).
Admit it already, you’re not a happy person right now.
I mean seriously, how are you going to fix the problem if you can’t even admit it? The world won’t end, it will just lose one miserable person in exchange for a happier one. What do you do after admitting you’re feeling pretty terrible? Well, you’re probably going to want to go hug a dog, or eat some chocolate cause it’s about to get real emotional up in here (Tissues are also helpful as tears will be shed if you’re anything like me).
Why aren’t you happy?
Get to the root of the problem, immediately. Is it a job issue? Do you hate your school? Does your significant other suck? All of the above? Choose what makes you the most unhappy. Choose what needs fixing, changing, or removing.
Make a plan of action.
As in get your notebook and pen ready. Make a list, pros and cons, what you can do right now, what you can do in the future, etc. Think of it as a new challenge. You probably won’t feel complete and utter happiness right away, but a plan to get you on a better track is better than sitting with a tub of ice cream wallowing in your pain with Netflix. (OK, that’s fun sometimes but you catch my drift)
Take your new plan and execute it.
Job search, have a talk with your significant other (or whomever it is causing you to dread life), seek advice from those you trust most- whatever it is that you need to do, do it. Writing it on paper won’t make you happy, you need to actually do something about it.
Try to maintain a positive attitude (THIS IS KEY)
Put out positive vibes into the world, and make sure you have done all you physically can to change your circumstance. However, your mentality is equally as important. I’m guilty (super guilty actually) of putting negative vibes out there, rather than trying to change my ‘I hate everything’ attitude. Believing your happiness will come with time is important. If you don’t stay positive and believe in the process, you will be stuck in your misery.
Life is a terrifying roller coaster sometimes. There are ups and downs, twists and turns, and many unexpected events. However, having the courage to admit that you are unsatisfied with where your roller coaster has taken you is everything. Admit it, take the necessary steps, and gain back a new found happiness (As in you may never feel the happiness you did when you were 18, but we’re moving on to bigger and better things anyways). Wallowing with a nice chocolate bar and a glass of wine is necessary sometimes, but it’s just as necessary to not get caught up in the misery. Don’t forget all that you have accomplished, and all that you want to accomplish. Break free, get yourself together, and take the never ending journey to finding the best version of YOU.